Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dream

Some of the time, I do not always believe that I have the ability to create my own universe. There are so many instances in which I take what I get and don't get upset. Even though taking what I get has been the prevailing wind in my world for the last 5 months, I have not lost sight of my hopes and dreams. These dreams of mine are the world whispering in my ear, starting an idea and trying to make it a reality. I know that this universe can provide what I desire, but unfortunately I have not always been clear in what I am asking for from the world.

My family and I have been pushed into rapid waters for the past year and we have been fighting the current to safely get downstream. We did not want to plunge to the bottom, but rather, calmly and thoughtfully find the safety in the calmer waters at the bottom of a waterfall. This fight has been exhausting and taken it's toll on everyone, including my girls. Throughout it all I have been begging and pleading for answers. Using all my capabilities to make my dreams a reality. Needless to say, after many failed attempts, I saw a clear vision of my dreams. Most recently for my oldest daughter. Her health was in troubled waters, and we, her family had to bring her safely ashore.

We finally reached the shore and we are all about to come up for air this week. My 11 year old daughter is leaving the hospital this week and returning to her normal childhood life. I can barely put into words the relief we all feel. We dreamed our dream and it came true.

We did not just beg and plead, we took it all into our hands, used every ounce of energy we could muster to help our daughter, and the universe spit us back out in the world I always dreamed of. I always dreamed of having a family that would succeed through the worst of times, and at times that did not always seem possible. But today, I can look back at all we have been through, and I see a group of people who survived the bad times and sick times, and returned in better shape than ever.

Family life is not about living a perfect life together. It is about taking all the mistakes, hardships, sicknesses and tragedies; and finding the strength to see each others humanity, and them to see yours. You can look back at these people and know they have your back no matter what, and you have theirs. A family portrait is one that has imperfections. You LIVED life together, and did not go through the motions in order to only display a beautiful portrait.

My dream is for a family that is real, honest, and above all healthy (mentally and physically). My calm waters will have pebbles and boulders thrown in our waters. And sometimes that ripple will go further than anyone expected. The trick is to not enjoy the ride, not to go with flow, not let the stone kill you; but to look back at that rippling water and see how in the end the calm water can return as long as you just experience it for its what is is. It is reality and it is inevitable. There has never been a body of water that has not experienced tragedy. There are hurricanes, floods, diseases, and draughts, but in the end it is possible for the water to return as long as you believe in your dreams, and the not the perfect outcomes.

6 comments:

  1. Joely, it is so good to see a post from you again and I'm relieved to hear that your family's made it to a safer shore. I've thought of you many a time over the last few months, especially that day of our sudden connection on our dormant blogs! Know that I'm out here, thinking of and praying for you.

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  2. Linda,
    I am in the greatest of moods today. We will be discharged tomorrow from Coloubus, Ohio Childrens hospital. My daughter has been through so much,and she is so young, to see her depressed and not able to eat, with a nj tube, central lines and blood clots is too much for anyone to bear. I love how we connect like this, in these big life moments.
    I am staying in a Ronald McDonald house right now, packing up our stuff and getting ready for our 4 hour drive home! My other two little ladies miss me and I miss them dearly.
    Thanks for prayers, they are what got through it all and brought us to this good place.

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  3. Joely: I had no idea your family was going through this. I was missing your blog posts and wondering what had happened, hoping you just got bored or busy.

    You make some interesting analogies/metaphors. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" comes to mind, though probably not what you were or are thinking. Regardless, I am glad your family has weathered that storm and was there for each other. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  4. Glad you're back. Looking forward to your spirited oldest returning to herself :-). Hope all is going well. See you soon (we'll all have a great summer :-).

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  5. Facie,

    Thanks for missing me. I missed writing so much. And you are right, the whole point of the story was how we can get stronger. Thanks.

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  6. Sherri,
    Thanks for helping my family out with food and your positive thoughts and prayers. You are an exceptional person and I am thankful to have people like you in my life.

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